Since I’ve gotten her, in March, I’ve
been a lot of repairs into Big Bessy. She first got a brand new battery for the
interior lights, followed by some repairs on the fuel pump, the high beam
lights, and the electrical gas lighter so I could charge my phone. She also got
some new breaks and a new mini fridge. I then got a bike rack for the back
bumper so I wouldn’t have to bring my bike inside every night. Then came some
beautification, of hanging tapestries, a clothing rod for my top bunk, which is
now my closet. Am also still working on fixing my real closet, as it turns out
there’s a weight limit and the rod that the hangers went on, and it sort of
fell off. So if anyone knows how to install a hang of sorts to plywood and it
will actually hold some stuff, please, be my guest, I’m all ears.
But is she drivable? Sometimes…most of
the time. She passed her test drive when I started it and drove it around the
block, so I assumed so at the time. However the seller failed to mention that
it stalls out 3-5 times every morning on average. That it definitely stalls out
if you’re stopped at a red light going up a hill. The carburetor makes all sort of popping
noises. The seller also didn’t smog it and now poor Bessy can’t pass a test on
her own. He told me it was being sold as is and had me sign a contract stating
that I understood that. This is a “hobbie” vehicle, he said, not for someone
that doesn’t understand cars. Yes, more like full-time job in my case. So, 3
months later, I went to legit smog place and they told me that legally, I was
allowed to sell it back to him. Or try to work out a deal where we could spilt
the cost of the repairs enough for it to pass a smog test. I called him and
told him all of this. And he’s from NY, and doesn’t really know the rules of CA
smog. Plus, he told me, and I quote “I’m actually a little bit retarded, and so
if you try to sue me, I’ll have my doctors and lawyers and stuff win, on
account of that I didn’t know the law here in CA.” Yes, that’s right ladies and
gentlemen, he played the retard card. I was speechless. I mean what can you
even say to that? Sorry you’re retarded; sell me this piece of shit back? Or
help me fix it. It was like talking to, well, to a retard. I had to have the
smog guy talk to him and even he felt bad for me and gave me discount on my
smog. My silly retard already used the $2000 to buy a minivan and he can’t
afford to give me money. He also informed me that he was getting food from the
food bank, government cheese and everything. Mother fucker, don’t talk to me
about government food. I came to America
But
to pass a smog test it boils down to is most likely is my carburetor. Who even
has a carburetor anymore? Do they even make those? I was looking around for a mechanic
to say it passed when really it didn’t, just so I could finally register this
beast. But to no avail. I kept getting the runaround. All I got was missed
appointments and no answers when I called, so I gave up. So I’ve been driving
around not so legally, but slowly and inconspicuously. Nobody can see that
giant silver RV, it totally blends in…I did get a little nervous when I drove
up to festival land, but that didn’t stop me from having the best time EVER!
Some of the other little minute details
I’ve had fixed, was the gas gage; turned out to just be blown fuse. The gas
tank was lifted and screwed into place. The water tank exploded one day when I
was filling it and can no longer hold water. So things like showering, brushing
teeth and washing hands become more challenging. Thank God for friends, yoga
studios and jobs with showers. Otherwise I’d be a filthy bitch. So I had to get
that repaired, and as soon as I did that the tank sprung a leak on the inside.
I came back one day and the floor was all wet. Awesome. Pretty soon the floor
is going to rot and mold and its going to smell like shit and I’m going to not be
able breath and die. So ya, I fixed that. And what do you know…the sewer tank
sprung a leak. And apparently you can get a ticket for that. They tend to frown
upon leaking poop on the streets. Maybe if I lived in India America Finest City
I’ve also
upgraded my sleeping arrangement quite a bit, that my bed is now the most
comfiest thing I have ever slept on! After about 4 months of living on the
streets, I noticed that all curbs are not created equal. Some have a very big
curve down angle. So much so, that I’d sort of roll off my bed and after a
while and the fold out table/bed, old, dingy cushions become super flattened
out. So my back was starting to hurt…a lot. Not to mention everything was
constantly sliding off on a lean. So when I was helping my friend Sarah move
into her new loft, and the old tenant was moving out he left his giant
temper-pedic memory foam mattress pad and ever since that I’ve been sleeping on
a cloud! Back problems are gone and its even curved under so its like sleeping
in a crib. Live is much more comfortable, I must say. But there is always work
to be done, as in Bessy, if its not one thing, its.
And so the adventure continues!
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