Monday, September 24, 2012

Car Shopping


         When I came back from seeing my family in Ohio, I had 3 days, well like 2 and a half, to find and buy a car for under $1600. Plus I was working still at Sammy’s at night and don’t know shit about cars. I also don’t have a car to go test drive cars, so I have to relay on my car2go gizmo, or friends to get me around. I start my new job at the insurance company on Monday, so I have something to get to work in. I mean, theoretically, I could still use my RV to get from here to there, but it’s a pain in the ass to drive, especially during morning rush hour traffic. I'd have to leave at 6am to get there by 8.
         I get home Thursday afternoon and get to Criagslisting. Thank God my friend Kate is willing to drive me around to check out a few cars that evening. And what gems, they are. The first one we see is classy, navy blue 1990 Cadillac Cupe de'Ville. I wasn't originally going for that one, but the car I saw online was a stick shift and I'm not that cool yet, that I know how to drive one of those. So the kind salesman gave him the keys to his very own car and told me to test drive that one in stead. They're ALL for sale! I'm pretty sure the fine gentleman selling these cars stole them, or had someone else steel them. And is now reselling to poor little girls like me. He looked, talked and dressed like Kat Williams, and hilarious as he was, I was not sold on the Caddy. Pimpin, since been pimpin, since been pimpin.... He did smoke a blunt with us and gave us lots of compliments, so that was special.
          The next few cars were old, or made some weird noises or just weren't my style.  Friday was go-time. I have several appointments made with several car sellers. I have my car2go and I have Sarah and her boy Nick, my car advisers to assist me. As I’m checking the logistics on where I’m going, I realize my car2go limit was going to get used up pretty quickly and I’d be running all over the city, and out of the operating area. So Im better off getting myself a rental. They had a weekend special, so I snagged it and traveled in style for the next 72 hours. AC and everything!
          Nick proved to be a wonderful help in assessing cars for me. Even in his hungover state.  He didn't just judge them by the color…like I did. He asked the right questions, did all the talking. Told me what to say, what not to say, stop being so ditsy and a little less naive. He explained to me how to toughen up my response and reactions as to not appear so desperate and even took over in Spanish when necessary.  After looking at 3 cars, we were tired and ready to quit this game. While we were talking to a potential seller, there was a guy working on him truck nearby. This guy thankfully was eavesdropping and also has a thing for curvy Russians, because, he interjected so we didn't buy a lemon as well as offered his mechanical services to me to look at other cars, as well as help work on my RV. We exchanged numbers, and a new mechanic friend was born.
           I couldn't use Nick the following day, cause apparently he wanted to spend quality alone time with Sarah, bladdity bladdity blah. So I call my new mechanic buddy to come with me to scope out some other cars. I schedule an appointment for a Hyundai Sonata, and they guy has a heavy Russian accent, so immediately I’m excited. Bring me a fellow Rusky any day, and we’ll talk business. I go pick up Travis the mechanic, and on the way there we get to know each other a little. Turns out, he lives in the truck he was fixing. He used to have a meth prob, but hes all good now…rrriiiiggghhtttt. He's also race car driver apparently, and knows how to rebuild carburetor in exchange for beer and or cookies. Sounds like a winner!
            We get to the shop, and test drive the car. Seems to be running in tip top shape.  The Russians immediately love me (and hate him) offer me some beer, or vodka, or to go out dancing to celebrate my new car. The next day, I come pay half and drive off in my new shiny, and pay the rest the next day. But before I do, this little mechanic boy manages to steal keys to a Jetta they are working on and offers to sell them weed. So far I haven't been linked to it, and I don't think it ever will be. But that’s when I decide maybe he’s not going to know where my RV is, or fix my carburetor, that little, shit. So now I've got my fancy little silver bullet and now my life is complete…well almost...still need to find a shower.

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